Life... in General

Clearly, blogging is such a yester year thing, something of the past decade...
I had a long hiatus of almost 4 years...
I guess 3 out of those 4 years I was busy...
Busy with SettlingBackinPerth/Working/GettingMarried/BeingaWife/Studying@BibleCollege/Travelling/Hostingfriends&family etc.

There was also a long period of time because no one visits the blog anymore and everyone just post things on FB, so I'll usually leave my thoughts/reflections and post them as status update on FB...

When I look back at some memories of the day on FB, it sometimes shock me that Wow! Did I really write that? Did those words come from me? I wonder what triggered it, or who or what has inspired me to write so beautifully...

- I believe it must be God

Many things happen just within a day...
In fact over the course of last few days, many things occurred...
Many major events in my journey over the past year of having graduated from Harvest Bible College occurred...

However, it's just not possible to find time to digest, reflect, and to blog or journal about it...
Well, I suppose many a times I wanted to post on FB, but due to the uncertainty of it all I'd rather keep it private as of now...

It's a nice outlet to be able to type here, keep a memory of my thoughts, journal about my journey here, and knowing that I'm in a private safe haven...

It has been challenging, annoying, frustrating.. but that's because we care...
we care so much that it hurts so badly...
we care so much that we are angry that things are just happening in vicious cycle and there's nothing we can do to make it better...
we talk to people about it, we let the leadership know the issues we are facing...
but I wonder when things will change, when will it turn around for good?

Maybe just maybe, this indeed is an open door... a breakthrough...
A whole new world for me to just soak in amazement of God and how He is able to manoeuvre situation and circumstances to make all things work for the good of those who love Him...
I am pretty settled...
I am pretty certain...

But the heartaches, the tears, the 依依不舍 is so real...
I was practically crying throughout the entire Friday...
The moment I bring it up I start tearing...
Probably no one would realise the significance this koinonia has been for me...
Sometimes I wonder if it's tears of joy or tears of sorrow...

All I can say is I want to be obedient to God...
I am excited with what is that lay ahead...
And I believe after 5th Nov, the picture will be even clearer...

As of now, I'll just stay close to God, keep my spiritual senses sharpen and pray...

my own personal revival that stemmed from coordinating a wedding on 10 Oct 2015

2 weeks before their wedding on 26 Sept 2015 was my first time meeting this couple at their wedding rehearsal at Caversham house. The bride looked pale and stressed out, and she reminded me of myself, 2 weeks before my own wedding. Mark was engaged to help them with their actual wedding day photoshoot, and they have graciously extended to invite me along to their small and intimate wedding.

At the wedding rehearsal, we realised that they are doing everything on their own, and are quite clueless with some of the nitty gritties. I decide to just help them on the spot, since I'm available... and suggested that if they need me to help coordinate the wedding, I am more than happy to help them along. And they happily took up the offer upon strong and eager encouragement from their parents and Ps Cheng Lai, the Pastor officiating their wedding.

Little did I know this little gesture to help a couple in times of need changed my focus, my perspective and brought about a major spiritual breakthrough... a personal spiritual revival...

The first thing that we needed to discuss was "what is happening for that entire wedding day"?

There was no run sheet for any helpers to follow.

There was no contact list of all key helpers and bridal party.

The bride was flying out that evening, back to Malaysia to pick up her gowns and spend time with her grandma who can't come to Perth to attend the wedding. They were only available to meet over lunch for a short time, but Mark and I are rushing to grab some stuff from Swan Valley and head to church for prayer meeting thereafter. 

We couldn't arrange to meet to discuss. All conversations continued via whatsapp for the wedding preparations thereafter. God inspired me to share two key verses with the bride............

The following weekend, 3-5 Oct, Mark and I went to Singapore to attend a wedding, and on Sunday, while we were worshipping at Agape Baptist Church, I started developing a high fever... we went on to rush around to catch up with friends and family, celebrated my niece's birthday in advance with family, whilst popping panadols in between to bring the fever down.

5 Oct, Monday, we went to ICA to collect my new IC and passport, before heading to Airport to catch the plane back to Perth... My fever persisted and we went to see a doctor on Tuesday morning. The doctor told me I should be getting better, there are white spots on my tonsils and to continue eating panadols and nurofen in staggered intervals to have the fever under control. If I don't get better, then start on the antibiotics he has prescribed for me on Wed. I went home, ate some soupy food for brunch and popped some panadols. Felt better, and started doing some work on the computer etc... After a while, my feet started feeling itchy, and I was scratching profusely. I realised that I started developing red itchy spots similar to Hand Foot Mouth Disease that I had contracted in April 2014. I was getting worried and I prayed that God will not let me have a full-blown HFMD because the ulcers in the throat were just torturous and there's no way I can help Joel&Sharon with their wedding on Sat, 10 Oct, if I don't get well! I quickly contacted Mark to remind him to buy the antibiotics on his way home from work. I started taking the antibiotics on Tuesday night religiously in 8 hours interval... the fever seems to go off in the morning but in the afternoon, it came back again. I was on sick leave for that entire week. Thank God it was the school holidays and I did not need to run tutorial classes at Touchpoint. Unfortunately, the antibiotics doesn't seem to work and I became so severe and weak that I had no choice but call for After hours GP to come to our place to check on me. By the time the doctor eventually arrive, it was close to 12am. She had a look at my condition, and the medication that was prescribed to me, and told me that I have been prescribed with the wrong antibiotics. I should stop taking it, and gave me new antibiotics prescription. Thank God she had two pills with her, and she gave them to me. She cautioned me that if I don't get better the next morning, I should just go straight to the hospital, in fear that I'd develop Pneumonia. That was definitely a huge scare for me then. Who'd have thought that it'd be so serious. I was really panicking and praying that God will just miraculously heal me and prayed against all forms of spiritual attack. Amazingly, and only by the grace of God, I finally recovered by Friday, although not fully, and continued to help Joel and Sharon finalise their wedding plans, contact the key personnels who have been engaged by them to confirm the timing of their deliveries and arrivals etc. sort out the guest list, seating arrangements etc. And we are speaking of the day before the wedding! (This is hilarious, because somehow as of 17 Oct 2017, I actually forgot the entire episode of my sickness happening just before their wedding, until I read the draft of this post that was never completed and published since 2 years back!)

All glory to God that everything went smoothly for the wedding, I made many new friends through this special episode of coordinating Joel & Sharon's wedding, and through it all, I realised my strength, my gift, the talent that God has given me. It has re-confirmed once again that God has given me the ability to coordinate and multi-task even under humongous stress and conflicting situation, to be clear-headed still and make wise decisions and be that helping hand to someone else in need.

It is something special and unique that I should never dismiss: the gift and talent God has blessed me with to multi-task well and be an efficient coordinator. Through the episode of coordinating Joel & Sharon's wedding, I came to the realisation that indeed God's fingerprints are all over my life, and He has changed me tremendously to be a vessel for the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

I just need to be patient and obedient to His calling, His plans, His will, His directions, His destiny for my life and my family...

17 Oct 2017 reflections

It has been a long while since I last blogged.
In fact, when I logged in to write this blogpost, that's when I realised that in Oct 2 years ago, I wrote a draft post that was never completed to publish...

It's been a long while coming...
Maybe due to a lack of pen and paper while I'm house-sitting and baby-sitting for my sis in Nedlands, so I decided I shall blog instead of writing in my journal/diary...
or maybe it's because I don't have a keyboard for my iPad Pro yet, that's why I don't blog as often or post status update on FB...
or maybe it's because my Macbook Pro has been sooooo slow, it's a pain to try to use it...
or maybe just maybe...

It has been an extremely eventful day.
I can't exactly find the words to describe how I feel.
Do I feel Overwhelmed? Excited? Stressed? Anxious? Interested? Apprehensive? Scared? Uncertain? Elated? Overjoyed? Disappointed? Sad? Upset? Worried?
Woah, it's really hard to pinpoint... maybe it's a mixture of everything?!?

So 3 years ago, on 22nd March 2014, I officially moved back to Perth for good to get ready for our wedding and marriage on 14 Dec 2014...

Around Oct 2014, I was in the midst of working at Touchpoint Community Services and studying at Arrows College at the same time...

Oct 2015, I experienced a spiritual breakthrough through helping out at then strangers now friends wedding...

Oct 2016, I officially completed my Grad Dip in Theology at Harvest Bible College

And now it's Oct 2017... and here I am, faced with one of the biggest dilemma in life...

Something so thrilling, yet uncertain
Something so exciting, yet worrying
Something so big, yet amazing why I have been picked to be considered and asked to pray about it...
Something that I've not even been striving towards, but He has chosen me...

It almost feels like God is standing at the door and knocking and my "buts" is shutting Him out...
the open door, the opportunity just seem so unreal

but maybe just maybe...
that could be a new direction, new phase, new ministry, new season in life for me, for us - Mark & myself and our future extended family...

Decisions decisions... It's a major crossroad... It's a BIG thing... but is it a God thing? Is this His plans and at His timing?

Well I believe it is a God thing...
I believe He will open only 1 door, which is the way He wants me to go...
& if/when He opens that door, no man can shut it...

Everything that God has spoken about teaching & teaching the word of God
and everything that God has put me through all these years and the training I've received over the past few years just seems to fit into this jigsaw puzzle almost perfectly...

Hmmph now am I making things up? or just trying to analyse too much?
Owells, I am leaving it in God's hands...

Thank You Lord that my faith, my hope, my love is in You...